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tatianaception:

the idea of being right-handed or left-handed is so fucked up. like how in the hell is it evolutionarily advantageous to have one hand that’s good at everything and one that’s fucking useless. why aren’t we all dead.

nicklugo:

Spanish is a beautiful language. You don’t say “I love you” in Spanish, you say “yo quiero comer culo” which translates to “you are the light of my life” which I think is one of the most beautiful things to say to someone

elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

i-am-a-mushroom:

i-am-a-mushroom:

i-am-a-mushroom:

i-am-a-mushroom:

My shrimp is so weird like when I touch it, it changes colors and kinda spasms sometimes idk

like it was kinda pinkish and then it turned red and now its yellow

and it has a stripe that wasn’t there before

its weird

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clarification

MY PET SHRIMP

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further clarafication

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SHRIMP

IN

A

FISH TANK

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sketchinetch:

cremebuns:

emeralddragoness:

cremebuns:

A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.

GOD

SHUT UP

UR SO STUPID

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[x]

theyellowbrickroad:

dw:

bask in the glow

who squirts ketchup right on their blanket

LEAKED NEW EEVEELUTION

im-deadpool-god-dammit:

now theres 

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Eevee

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Flareon

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Vaporeon

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Jolteon

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Espeon

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Umbreon

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Leafeon

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Glaceon

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Sylveon, and finally

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Celinedion

komikan:

bruh
  • baby: m....m...m
  • mom: mama? ma? mommy?
  • baby: m...m...
  • baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT